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Women - when's enough?

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Postby Metal Iain on Mon Sep 10, 2007 12:11 am

MartinC wrote:I put a knife in the toaster.


That's standard 'toast removing' technique. I want to hear want heppened when you put a squid in your toaster!
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Postby MartinC on Mon Sep 10, 2007 12:29 am

All the lights went off in my house.
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Postby Metal Iain on Mon Sep 10, 2007 12:37 am

And so explains your brief foray into sexual deviancy with your sister? If not, why not?!
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Postby STD_Caps on Mon Sep 10, 2007 11:12 am

Some of Martin's earlier posts were surprisingly emotional and remorseful. I'm shocked he didn't try to play the big man.

Also, I bought my last mobile. £20 with five pound credit included. I will get another one when I have some money. A mobile phone in my possession will not last longer than a month...
"And what about the churches and all their wealth
There's an unseen fortune under their belts
Are golden temples a symbol of God's way
This horde of wealth is a sickening display"
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Postby MartinC on Mon Sep 10, 2007 12:36 pm

Some of Martin's earlier posts were surprisingly emotional and remorseful. I'm shocked he didn't try to play the big man.


Girls are my only downfall. I remember crying like a baby when my ex-ex-girlfriend dumped me because I knew I wouldn't be able to have sex all the time from that point on.
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Postby STD_Caps on Tue Sep 11, 2007 11:52 pm

FUCKING HELL!

I was meant to go up to London today to meet one of the ladies. I tried to call her up and she didn't answer. I got more and more pissed off and was thinking of fucking the whole thing. Then, the fourth time I call, this voice answers that sounds close to someone dying. She's got tonsillitis and she fainted at work yesterday. She sounded really fucking sick. Now I can't even be pissed off with her and I'm still completely out on a limb. A crying shame. I guess I'm destined to be a failure with the ladies....
"And what about the churches and all their wealth
There's an unseen fortune under their belts
Are golden temples a symbol of God's way
This horde of wealth is a sickening display"
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Postby Dian Wei on Tue Sep 11, 2007 11:54 pm

There is a glimmer of hope for me, i heard polish sexy pants moan about her current boyfriend not paying attention to her and all that.
Gee.... I don't know about the rest of you guys, but lately the only things that truly motivate me are erections and bowel movements.

Thank the Police coming straight from the underground...
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Postby terrorizer on Wed Sep 12, 2007 12:42 am

STD_Caps wrote:FUCKING HELL!

I was meant to go up to London today to meet one of the ladies. I tried to call her up and she didn't answer. I got more and more pissed off and was thinking of fucking the whole thing. Then, the fourth time I call, this voice answers that sounds close to someone dying. She's got tonsillitis and she fainted at work yesterday. She sounded really fucking sick. Now I can't even be pissed off with her and I'm still completely out on a limb. A crying shame. I guess I'm destined to be a failure with the ladies....


How about offering to go over and nurse her back to health? Women appreciate a caring attitude in men. Also if she faints again you might be able to cop a quick feel. :wink:
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Postby STD_Caps on Wed Sep 12, 2007 10:09 am

Not a bad idea but it' still very early days and that would probably come across a bit weird - especially as I live about 150 miles away from her....
"And what about the churches and all their wealth
There's an unseen fortune under their belts
Are golden temples a symbol of God's way
This horde of wealth is a sickening display"
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Postby swizzlenuts on Wed Sep 12, 2007 11:20 am

A sexy Italian girl just moved into my flat ;)
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Postby Metal Iain on Wed Sep 12, 2007 12:52 pm

swizzlenuts wrote:A sexy Italian girl just moved into my flat ;)

'Break into the bathroom and photo her taking a shit - women love that!
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Postby swizzlenuts on Wed Sep 12, 2007 1:29 pm

Will do.
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Postby Jemegadeth on Wed Sep 12, 2007 5:33 pm

can I ask cas I've always wondered this, ya know lads are always banging on about how they dont understand women, and that they confuse the fuck outta them and stuff

well like, why?!
spent last night trying to chuck my bird
she was clinging to my leg like a homesick turd
'Your tits are too small, and your legs are too short,
I want a fit bird from the Sunday Sport!
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Postby MartinC on Wed Sep 12, 2007 5:42 pm

Because you're idiots and you don't know what's good for you half the time.
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Postby Metal Iain on Wed Sep 12, 2007 5:44 pm

Because your average woman is highly incapable of handling herself if the shit hits the fan and they need to, say, replace a fuse, get a Visa or paint a wall. It probably stems from how girls are brought up in relation to boys - being taught how to fold up a pram vs. working with technical stuff.

The anecdotes about women not being able to navigate (even with a map) and drive/park cars are, allegedly, also true as women's brains are gash when it comes to spacial awareness.
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