Truth and Untruth
These are comments are bullshit that we've found around the internet - they remain as a testament to the rubbish people write because of the anonimity of the internet...
Mortiis lives in a castle in Norway.
Mortiis has had plastic surgery to look the way he does.
Mortiis stabbed his mother to death.
Mortiis is a raving alcoholic and drug-user.
Mortiis died and came back from the dead.
Mortiis is married.
Mortiis can't drink.
Mortiis is not human.
Mortiis and friends sacrifice animals in the forest.
Someone was sadistically murdered in the house he lives in.
Mortiis is a king on the dance floor.
Mortiis OD'ed and had to be resuscitated back to life.
Mortiis eats children.
Mortiis has joined Danny Glover in his quest to stop rascist cab drivers.
Mortiis keeps wolves as pets.
Mortiis has sex with wolves.
Mortiis has been asked to use his nose in a porno movie.
Mortiis has been asked to be in a Disney film.
Mortiis and Sarah Jezebel Deva are the same person.
Mortiis has been involved in inticement to suicide.
Vond sings on The Stargate.
Mortiis' nose falls off during live shows.
Mortiis looks just like Blix from Legend, only taller.
Mortiis' music is bad, because he uses make-up.
Mortiis gave birth to someone's grandmother.
Mortiis is supposed to be a Scandinavian troll.
The Stargate is so bad, everyone displays universal disguist for it.
Mortiis was involved in the Norwegian train crash that took some 30 lives (coincidentally, another passenger was alledgedly saved by aliens).
Mortiis lives in a cave & plays buttmetal .
Mortiis sounds like 80´ies goth ala Bauhaus with bad costumes.
Mortiis is a real no talent moron
Mortiis was voted sexiest man in Norway
Mortiis left Emperor in the end of 91, because his mother wouldn`t let him play in a black metal band (taken from an insanely erroneous Emperor fan-site).
Mortiis´ real name is Bobo Trinkles.
Mortiis has 13 toes.
Mortiis has a cat named Elisabeth Bathory.
Mortiis plays electronic folk music
Mortiis had to leave Emperor because he is a troll.
Mortiis had his ears stolen and had to do the show without them.
Mortiis saw himself dead in a dream and from that dream he recreated the image of himself he saw.
When you say Mortiis five times in front of a mirror, he appears with his army of trolls and slay the living!
"Who said people were smart?" Mortiis muses over these latest rumours that have been seen on the internet. "Someone said something about me comitting suicide 3 times last year - but I think that was just a sarcastic joke" he adds..."People talk about everything - usually things they don't know the first thing about - but what can you do?
We use these people, though. In this instance, we make this site more interesting to go to thanks to these people"..."I know alot of people have one hell of a hard time dealing with me, because of the way I chose to display myself,and somehow that makes my music bad. If they don't like it - ignore it. If they feel that I am not good enough for them - ignore it. I'm appaled at the fact that they keep wasting time. At least I'm out there fucking fighting and trying to get something constructive done with my life. So what if some DJ out there can mix and make songs that puts people like Trent Reznor or David Bowie (highly unlikely, but still) to shame when all they do is jack off while putting in the latest bullshit in some stupid newsgroup?".
"And by the way..." he says, "Scandinavian trolls are, according to popular myth a mischevious but nice little dwarf, or in some cases, a giant. I hardly fit in with any of those categories. It's time these people get their fucking shit straight."
Mortiis had his ears stolen and had to do the show without them.
How i laffed
