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Fuck My Life

Postby MartinC on Sat Apr 04, 2009 2:20 pm

http://www.fmylife.com/

Awesome website where people moan about their shitty lives. Here's some gems:

"Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't hang out with me because he felt really sick. I went to his house anyway to surprise him with homemade soup. I walk in to his room only to find him hooking up with my sister. She can't drive, our mom drove her there. FML"

"Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML"
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Re: Fuck My Life

Postby Metal Iain on Sat Apr 04, 2009 2:21 pm

'Today, my boyfriend of seven months dumped me because if he 'ever wanted to get married', he wants to 'marry a virgin.' I lost my virginity to him. FML'

Haha!
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Re: Fuck My Life

Postby MartinC on Sat Apr 04, 2009 2:24 pm

Hahaha, so many good ones. Just the 'FML' at the end of each one really makes it hilarious.
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Re: Fuck My Life

Postby Dian Wei on Sat Apr 04, 2009 2:25 pm

Today, My family and I were in New Orleans. We passed by all of the naughty peep shows with posters of naked women everywhere on the way to dinner. At the restaurant, my dad asks me if that was the first pair of boobs I have seen. My mom butted in saying, "Nah, remember all that porn we found?" FML
Gee.... I don't know about the rest of you guys, but lately the only things that truly motivate me are erections and bowel movements.

Thank the Police coming straight from the underground...
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Re: Fuck My Life

Postby MartinC on Sat Apr 04, 2009 2:30 pm

Hahahaha!

"Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML"
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Re: Fuck My Life

Postby MartinC on Sat Apr 04, 2009 2:32 pm

"Today, I handed my PhD dissertation, which I have spent the past year researching and writing full-time. Last night, my roommate set an autocorrect on Word that changed "neither" to "nigger." I didn't notice until after I handed it in. My professor is black. FML"
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Re: Fuck My Life

Postby Creeping Dan on Sat Apr 04, 2009 2:48 pm

That is amazing.
Rub my face... up and down
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Re: Fuck My Life

Postby metaltony on Sat Apr 04, 2009 2:49 pm

Awesome find
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Re: Fuck My Life

Postby Creeping Dan on Sat Apr 04, 2009 2:55 pm

Today, I forgot my weed on the kitchen counter before leaving for school. My parents surprised me by coming home a day early from their vacation. My mom had mistaken it for parsley, and it is now on top of my pasta. FML
Rub my face... up and down
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Re: Fuck My Life

Postby Creeping Dan on Sat Apr 04, 2009 3:05 pm

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "because you can't find a real girl I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML


Hahahahahaha owned!
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Re: Fuck My Life

Postby MartinC on Sat Apr 04, 2009 3:31 pm

Hahahahahaha, oh my God, that is the best thing ever!
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Re: Fuck My Life

Postby Atom on Sat Apr 04, 2009 7:02 pm

Haha yeah, I've been 'FML-ing' for a while now, its so damn good to know there are other people having horrible shit happen to them!
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Re: Fuck My Life

Postby Creeping Dan on Sat Apr 04, 2009 8:59 pm

You post stuff on there? Cos if you do... you should post them here haha.
Rub my face... up and down
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Re: Fuck My Life

Postby origamikid on Sat Apr 04, 2009 9:23 pm

Today, I saw a very attractive female police officer while at the DMV. Thinking myself suave, I asked her: "Is it sexual harassment if I tell you how beautiful I think you are, and ask for your phone number?" Apparently it was. FML

hahahahaha that is brilliant hahahaha

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Re: Fuck My Life

Postby Lev on Sun Apr 05, 2009 4:42 pm

Today, when my boyfriend reffered to my hair, I told him I was going to dye it. He responded by saying, "finally, so how much you going for, 40, maybe 50 pounds?". I said dye it, not diet. FML


These are class.
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