Homeless People

by **Chris** on Tue Mar 20, 2007 4:48 pm

MartinC wrote:
And yet you still don't heed my warnings, do you?

WOOF WOOF!!

I can't help it! You smell so nice!

by **amok** on Tue Mar 20, 2007 6:16 pm

in glasgow, 90 percent of the population are fuckin idiots, theres too many nutters to mention lol

by **TORSO** on Tue Mar 20, 2007 7:19 pm

Well i work in a TESCO of Braintree so i meet crazy people all the time. We have:

Singing man - This guy has given up on life...can seem normal one second and then begins either singing "I once was a china man" or Just shouting "The american dream" or "The minimum age is"

Cultist of the dog coat - There is loads of these old people wearing woolly coats with dogs on them and they look rather strange, they also come with horses and wolfs but the most common is dog.

Brillo Pad - This guy comes in every saturday night to buy a snickers and a brillo pad...either he likes to really scrub things or he is collecting them lol

Simpson shirt - A guy who always wears a simpsons shirts and thinks outloud, as in if he thinks someone is a cunt he starts saying they are a cunt....but polite if he has to speak to them

Theres also some physically disabled people whom i have named Sideways-face-mouth, Scrunch face, no neck

Thats only a small amount of the "fun" people at work

by **TORSO** on Tue Mar 20, 2007 7:23 pm

Also the one outside the worlds end on sunday was hillarious... gah oh yo AARRRAAGGGH *push button for traffic lights* aaahh hahah ggrrr spack ippp O!

by **Dian Wei** on Tue Mar 20, 2007 7:25 pm

"NUNS ARE ALL CUNTS!" being my personal favorite thing the singing man has said.

by **James** on Tue Mar 20, 2007 7:41 pm

Brillo Pad man is one of the funniest so far

by **Wreck Your Neck** on Tue Mar 20, 2007 8:04 pm

Atom wrote:Here is a guide to some of Ealing's premier homeless people, please provide one for your area!

47 Layers Man - Self explanatory, wears many, many layers of clothing in all types of weather. Sleeps under the depot.

Man-Who-Thinks-His Wife-Is-Still-Alive - An elderly man, clearly insane, who thinks he is pushing his wife who passed away long ago around in an empty wheelchair. Lives in Walpole park.

Wolf Man - A filthy drunk who hangs round with his cronies scaring children by turning his false teeth upside-down and growling. Found on the benches near the back entrance to the shopping center.

Shouting man - Similar to the shouting man in Camden but more ovular and pink. Frequents the local Sainsburys.

Michael, The time traveling ex-Millionaire - A well-spoken kindly old man who used to be rich but lost it all and went mad. I made up the time traveling part but it fits in with a theory I have, I believe he is from the past (or the future) and built a time machine with his millions, came to the future, (or past) the machine broke down and he subsequently went mad. A rare sight nowadays.

The Graveyard Man - Lives round the back of a local church and spends the days sitting on the bench round the front, complaining to whoever is listening.

Some local strange people:

The Witch - So called because of her bizzare appearance, black robes, amulets and feathers in her hair, seen haunting a churchyard near my house.

Blue Man - A man with a medical disease which causes his skin to be blue. Very weird sight. Maybe he's sad?

Recently two more were spotted, the "two pints" man and the strange woman who was pointing at two shopping trolleys and moaning, why? We shall never know.

I'm sure there are many more, I will remember some later.

No offense Atom but are you been serious ?
\m/

by **Atom** on Tue Mar 20, 2007 8:21 pm

Seriously serious. :shock:

by **Immortalicide** on Tue Mar 20, 2007 8:50 pm

Here in burton we dont have tramps!!! Since the "burton in bloom" programme has been implemented to make the town aesthetically pleasing, we have had a secret group of nazis who go round stapenhill gardens and under the ferry bridge at night, rounding them up and feeding them to the swans!!!! True!!!!

We had a 2 tramps for years, the first was an old man with a beard longer than the combined total of ZZ tops, and he had a nub-end from a woodbine permanently fixed to his bottom lip, and all day he used to go round the car parks collecting trolleys and taking them back to the supermarkets they came from. When they all started introducing the £1 trolleys, and everyone took their own back he lost the plot totally and his whole purpose in life was gone!! He did go to the new tescos for a while as they never used the pound coin thing, but they stopped him under the pretence of health and safety. He drowned himself in the trent after tying a tesco trolley round his neck and jumping off st peters bridge!!

The other tramp was far more scary!!! He was about 6'6 and 20 stone and would walk round the waterloo street area with a wooley hat on, an unbuttoned shirt and pink plastic sunglasses. He had been known to attack people who looked at him and i saw him shouting at people in a very very aggressive manner for walking on his pavement!!!! :shock:

Other than tramps, we have a guy who has an oversized hand, and it really is massive, about 5 times the size it was, it just started swelling one day and it is now fucking grotesque!!! Their was also an old bloke called Tom who had a growth on the back of his head, which hung down like a scrotum,, and was a source of many sniggers when i was a wee lad!!!

by **ash** on Wed Mar 21, 2007 1:55 am

http://aberdeentramps.blogspot.com/

by **Raging Paul** on Wed Mar 21, 2007 11:59 am

Tom how could you forget "greasy grey jacket wearing-used to have a big egg on his head-man!?"

I swear at one point he actually was sponsored by some company or something for being a tramp...

Then the egg was removed...

But he's still mental.

by **oxfordrocks** on Wed Mar 21, 2007 12:32 pm

In Oxford we have a fair selection.
Mad woman who sits in the middle of Queen Street and has a shit. (or perhaps this is some kind of protest)

The old tap dancer who can't tap dance.
The fella with the 'leccy guitar who sits out-side GAP at 2'oclock in the morning playing Hendrix.

And of course the fookin' students (hooray Henry's and Henrietta's) who are away from Mater and Pater for the first and act like CUNTS.
ALL.....THE.....FUCKING.....TIME....

O.K they're not tramps, but they are bloody annoying.

by **Immortalicide** on Wed Mar 21, 2007 1:03 pm

Anyway, if homeless people are that hungry like they tell you when they are begging, they would either pack up smoking or eat the scabby dog they all have!!!!! :evil:

by **BEER CAN** on Wed Mar 21, 2007 1:19 pm

bloody hell where do i start with fucking wood green! well theres:

Shouty jamaican man : This really old dude that hobles when he walks and he stands by the bus stop near the goose in wood green shouting at everyone and anyone i cant understand a bloody word he says, but i bet its well important...

...then on the other side of the bus stop theres the...

group of crazy drunks who morph into different people everyday: This group of nutcases changes every week, its like they have created some kind of mystery time portal which transports bums from time period to time period...maybe theres somethihng in the cider they gulp down

Crutch Hunch back man: hes the longest serviving one of them all he walks EVERYWHERE and goes through the bins for food and junk and shit, he has a crutch which he sometimes uses but i can never tell, and hes always really really hunched over....

Crack head man: hes a crack head, and hes a african dude. and he wants those amazing 20 pences that everyone holds, the mysteriouis power of the 20 pence, you will never know how far 20 pence can actually go until you are a crack head...

(and theres all the other crack head people which are basically all the same just different nationalities)

by **Berith** on Wed Mar 21, 2007 1:20 pm

in my first uni-year in Camden there was this "Irish-Joke-Telling-Man"
He'd come up to you and follow you on the street and introduce himself, telling you not to tell his family he was bumming money as he had told them he is having a big time career as a comedic in London...then hed go on to tell some joke that I never understood and ask for a few Pence....
...however, he dissapeared mysteriously after 2005...hmmm, guess he told the wrong joke to the wrong person in Kentish Town.

In Finland we only get one kind of bum.
The-Bottle-Collecting-always-drunk-bum.
As you get money for bringing empty bottles back to the shop in Finland, these people collect bottles until they can afford some cheap vodka, get drunk on it whilst collecting more bottles.

This is not to be confused with the so called 'pullomummot' (bottle-grannies), who stride through the streets of helsinki with a bicycle, two heavy bags full of empty bottles on both handle and collect bottles as they have nothing better todo....

Homeless People

Re: Homeless People

Re: Homeless People