terrorizer wrote:How many metalheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Four. One to actually do it, and the other three to argue over who did it first
or to argue about how generic the light bulb is!
Joke Thread
Moderators: James, Craig, Resilience Records
Re: Joke Thread
by boovidge on Wed Mar 07, 2007 7:19 pm
or to argue about how generic the light bulb is!
Metal Iain wrote:This board has nothing to do with the 'scene'. It's more just about 10 or so pricks who used to like Thrash that, for one reason or another, waste a lot of time posting on here.
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by GoreBastard on Thu Mar 08, 2007 4:20 am
terrorizer wrote:A bloke is in the bath with his little lad.
"Dad, why is your willy bigger than mine?"
"Well son, for a start you don't have a hard-on."
HAHAHAHAHA!!!! THAT'S FUCKING AWESOME!!!
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by STD_Caps on Thu Mar 08, 2007 5:52 pm
Quality jokes, people.
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to change the lightbulb and another to suck my cock.
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to change the lightbulb and another to suck my cock.
"And what about the churches and all their wealth
There's an unseen fortune under their belts
Are golden temples a symbol of God's way
This horde of wealth is a sickening display"
There's an unseen fortune under their belts
Are golden temples a symbol of God's way
This horde of wealth is a sickening display"
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by Steve on Fri Mar 09, 2007 1:08 pm
My mate sent me this rather tasteless one by text:
What's the number 1 cause for paedophilia in the UK?
Sexy children
What's the number 1 cause for paedophilia in the UK?
Sexy children
GoreBastard wrote:Trust those black metal folk to take their music to the next level of gay!
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by boovidge on Fri Mar 09, 2007 1:14 pm
why did the little girl fall off the swing?
she had no arms
she had no arms
Metal Iain wrote:This board has nothing to do with the 'scene'. It's more just about 10 or so pricks who used to like Thrash that, for one reason or another, waste a lot of time posting on here.
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by ribbons69 on Fri Mar 09, 2007 2:00 pm
Police recently arrested two gay muslims wearing backpacks.
They suspected they might be suicide bummers.
They suspected they might be suicide bummers.
"Thorn wishes aegis,rapturous beasts below"
"Aegis arising,the colours of space"
we fall to rise
"Aegis arising,the colours of space"
we fall to rise
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by nuke on Fri Mar 09, 2007 2:10 pm
A guy is walking along the beach and he stumbles on a Genie Bottle.
He rubs it and out pop two Genies. He makes three wishes. When he gets home, he hears a knock on the door and outside there are 20 beautiful naked women. Walking back inside he sees a briefcase sitting on his coffee table. Opening it he see $20 million dollars.
"Wow, my first two wishes have come true!" he yells.
He gets ready to do his thing with the women when he hears another knock on the door. When he opens the door there are two Ku Klux Klan guys.
First, they beat the him up, then they tar and feather him. Next, they take him out back and lynch him. When the KKK guys are sure he is dead, they take their hoods off to reveal the two Genies!
The first Genie turns to the second and says, "You know, I can understand his first two wishes but why would he want to be hung like a black man?"
He rubs it and out pop two Genies. He makes three wishes. When he gets home, he hears a knock on the door and outside there are 20 beautiful naked women. Walking back inside he sees a briefcase sitting on his coffee table. Opening it he see $20 million dollars.
"Wow, my first two wishes have come true!" he yells.
He gets ready to do his thing with the women when he hears another knock on the door. When he opens the door there are two Ku Klux Klan guys.
First, they beat the him up, then they tar and feather him. Next, they take him out back and lynch him. When the KKK guys are sure he is dead, they take their hoods off to reveal the two Genies!
The first Genie turns to the second and says, "You know, I can understand his first two wishes but why would he want to be hung like a black man?"
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by James on Fri Mar 09, 2007 6:07 pm
Haha, that's wicked luke!
thrashduck wrote:And the internet was without uk thrash form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of James moved upon the face of the waters.
"No Hellscourger, I would not like a strawberry."
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by terrorizer on Sun Mar 11, 2007 5:59 pm
A Catholic Priest is visiting a family. Little Johnny is introduced and then told to go to bed, but he keeps coming down interupting, wanting a drink, can't sleep, wanting the toilet etc., and no matter how many times Mum and Dad take him to bed he is back down again, until the Priest suggest that he try and settle the boy.
He comes down and there is silence. Little Johnny is neither seen or heard for the rest of the evening. When the Priest comes to leave the parents ask,
"So Father, what's your secret. Did you pray with him or something?"
"No," replies the Holy Father, "I just taught him how to masturbate."
He comes down and there is silence. Little Johnny is neither seen or heard for the rest of the evening. When the Priest comes to leave the parents ask,
"So Father, what's your secret. Did you pray with him or something?"
"No," replies the Holy Father, "I just taught him how to masturbate."
"If you want a picture of the future of UK Thrash, imagine a boot stamping on a Member's face, forever."
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by Immortalicide on Mon Mar 12, 2007 12:44 pm
Two blonde Icelandic sisters go into a photo place to get their picture taken. Not being very educated, they question each other on what the photographer is doing. When he goes under the black cloth, one sister turns to the other and asks.....
"Vots he goink to do?"
Her sister answers," He's goink to focus!"
The second cries," Bot of us !?!"
"Vots he goink to do?"
Her sister answers," He's goink to focus!"
The second cries," Bot of us !?!"
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by Metal Iain on Mon Mar 12, 2007 2:09 pm
\m/Steve\m/ wrote:My mate sent me this rather tasteless one by text:
What's the number 1 cause for paedophilia in the UK?
Sexy children
I love tasteless text jokes.
Literally, 45 minutes before I found out Ronnie Barker had died I get a text from my brother saying:
'You up for going to see The Two Ronnies? Tickers are half price!'
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by James on Mon Mar 12, 2007 4:53 pm
boovidge wrote:why did the little girl fall off the swing?
she had no arms
I remember a similar one to this:why did the little girl fall off the swing?
Because I threw a fridge at her.
thrashduck wrote:And the internet was without uk thrash form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of James moved upon the face of the waters.
"No Hellscourger, I would not like a strawberry."
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by boovidge on Mon Mar 12, 2007 5:06 pm
James wrote:boovidge wrote:why did the little girl fall off the swing?
she had no arms
why did the little girl fall off the swing?
Because I threw a fridge at her.
the version of that i've heard is:why did the little boy fall of his bike?
I threw a fridge at him
Metal Iain wrote:This board has nothing to do with the 'scene'. It's more just about 10 or so pricks who used to like Thrash that, for one reason or another, waste a lot of time posting on here.
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- Location: Brighton
by James on Mon Mar 12, 2007 6:26 pm
yeah, I think I've heard it with a nun on a bike as well
hahaha
hahaha
thrashduck wrote:And the internet was without uk thrash form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of James moved upon the face of the waters.
"No Hellscourger, I would not like a strawberry."
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Administrator - Posts: 8334
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