right,time for some more comedy vulgarness i suppose.
this time its all about puking
this was my worst vomit induced incident.
picture the scene...a couple of years back on a sunny sunday afternoon a friend of a friend rang me to see if i wanted to join him at the pub down the road for the afternoon,since the others were busy and not out till the evening.
so i thought yeah cool,and headed down there.being a hot day and with him being a faster drinker/us buying rounds etc,i was pretty much bolloxed by the evening and had 10pints in total.around the early evening(by the 5th/6th pint)i ordered a £5 bargain bucket from the pub menu.consisting of 8sausages 8pieces of chicken and the rest of the space filled with chunky chips.yum yum...or so i thought!
eventually i buggered off/staggered home and was in bed by 10 as it was a long day and tiredness took over me and all i could think of was my bed.
of course the minute i laid down,i erupted with puke,i was so wasted i couldnt even push myself up to sit so i was literally puking on my face,hair,wall,pillow etc.
luckily my parents were watchin tv in their room next to mine and my mum heard the splatty gushing and ran in,hoisted me up and then with the quilt/duvet made a huge dip/temporary bowl out of it to contain the streams of vomit as i couldnt hold any of it in or run to the downstairs loo.good old mummy changed/sorted my bedding(whilst having to stop me falling back to sleep until it was all sorted)i was so wasted.there was a lot of carnage the next morning as far as the carpet and wall/bedside was concerned and i had to eventually sort it out(nothing worse than cleaning up whilst hungover)
this was one of two occasions where i had 10pints.the other occasion 1and a half years ago didnt make me sick but got me a 5year caution(aka no criminal record but a slap on the wrists)so i learned from my mistakes and know my alcohol limits these days.

also having a downstairs bathroom is a pain when you feel sick as sometimes you dont make it in time and end up containing the sick in your cheeks and releasing it in the kitchen sink or the bath.
the bath is quite handy as far as aiming goes as you cant miss.then just shower the puke down the plug hole,any chunks of random food too big to wash away,simply scoop out with your hand then flick in bog or bin.sorted.

funnily enough im a silent puker.my dad,brother and friend seem to fucking roar like a beast/echo the porcelain pan when vomiting.you get the odd gurgler but im just a silent minimum fuss spewer.

anyway whos next to delight in sharing their disgusting liquid/chunk regurgitating shenanigans....

Hmm, I don't really have a good story to tell that just concerns puke, but about two years ago I got gastroenteritis and I was in bed with it for a week. Before I was diagnosed with it, I was just eating normally and then at some point during the first day I went for a shit and it was literally a case of doing a runny shit then having to swap over as quick as I could to throw up and so on and so forth. It was the worst thing ever. Needless to say, I starved myself for the remainder of the week.

that reminds me of that south park episode where randy is having a nosebleed,shitting,and puking into a bin all at once and positioning himself for each different release.
i hate feeling sick from eating so much then feeling a shit coming on.its a real dilemma....
do you a)kneel at the bog to be sick and worry you may shit yourself the minute your stomach contracts from puking.
or b)sit on the bog to push the shit out and worry you may puke on the floor the minute the smell of the emerging shit hits you?

a real tough scenario

Once one for me was involving chicken chow mein and my bedroom curtains.

Went round a mates and got a bit bladdered, had some chinese. Got home went to go to bed, felt ill dashed to puke out the window and spewed over the curtains.

Then woke my mum up and slept in my brother's room.

Thinking about it that is the only time i have puked through booze.

As I have probably proclaimed before, I've never thrown up from drinking.

One story that's done the rounds amongst my family for a number of years though is something that happened when we were on a camping holiday in the Isle of Wight (I think) - I got up in the night feeling ready to puke, raced out to the "emergency bucket" in the awning area, and let rip...

Unfortunately, the bucket had a lid and it was firmly on, so my family were woken up to the sound of my vomit splattering off the bucket lid in all directions.

Horrible.

The last time I threw up would be the night of Liverpool's first leg Champions League match against Inter Milan - which we won 2-0 and I went out for celebratory drinks. After about five pints, I wasn't feeling that brilliant, but I'd been bought my second Guinness in a bar which I now realise has a dodgy reputation for Guinness.

Not a very exciting story, but got back to my flat fine, was laying in bed when I had the standard "I'm gonna be sick" feeling, got to the toilet and was sick. I was actually surprisingly sober while being sick, so I blame the last Guinness I had.

Few New Year's Eves ago I came back home and vomited all over my roof because I have a sky-light. I forgot I did it the next day so after about a week I could smell sick and looked outside my window to see crusty sick everywhere.

THAT was the bad thing!

Got drunk, in rushed panic, threw up outside my window..


...and onto the car


Another one was at a gig at the Water Rats in Kings Cross. We'd just gone to see a mates band play, and i'd taken some meds that morning for one reason or another, but decided that it was perfectly okay to drink in the evening. I only had 5 pints, but it turns out I had my drink spiked as well, and I ended up projectile vomiting down (for those whove been to central london will hopefully know what im talking about.) someones flat / house entrance! (yknow the ones where it's metal fencing on street level, but they take stairs to go down a level). But yeh. It was as tho their house had been flooded by my puke. Lovely.

When I was 16, we had a joint 16th party at some hall, it was on the 2nd floor, and was quite plush. Anyway, one of my presents was as much of a bottle of whiskey that I could down, but only in one go. So, after hours of drinking and other tingz, I took about 5/6 gulps of the whiskey, I was grand for a half hour, but after that, I just ran outside (fell down the stairs) saw Jesus (someone in fancy dress - altho I was convinced it was really him) and threw up absolutely everywhere. I was wretching for the whole night, it was so long. Anyway, after being looked after for about an hour by some hottie wearing a black nurse outfit, I got dumped in a car and back to a mates house, the plan eventually was for about 10 of us to go back and just get fucked and carry on, and eventually crash. I passed out on the floor, and woke up with a matress on me, and someone sleeping on it. The reaction when the person woke up and heard noises from under the mattress were hilarious!

Anyway, I haven't thrown up in such a long time, I love that feeling of freshness just after tho, better out than in!

I throw up from drinking quite regularly if I've had too much, I have a bad stomach it seems.

One story engulfs them all though. I was at a house party and some shit poured every drink on the table into a single glass. Everyone had a sip and thought it tasted like cough syrup. Me, being pissed enough, decided to finish it off.

Needles to say, it wasn't pretty. After walking home completely wankered and feeling a bit ill later on, I woke up once in bed even later and puked up in the bed... and it was the worst puke ever, big thick chunks of pork chop, broccoli and carrot from teatime. In a drunken haze, I tried to clean it up, but passed out half way through, so trapsed much of it through from the bed to the bathroom.

The next morning, I woke up in my own puke and had to dump the sheets in the bath and pick all the massive chunks of pork chop and such out, as well as cleaning puke off the walls and picking regurgitated bits out of my bed, all whilst my mum was literally laughing at me and continually lecturing me... which pissed me off. Awful. It still haunts me now.

The Sabbat gig was the drunkest I've been for a looong time, and I wasn't THAT bad. I don't really see the appeal of (deliberately) getting any drunker than that, because then you're just into stomach churning territory which just isn't cricket.

My parents went away for a week back in 2006 so I decided to do the decent thing and throw a silly house party, which ended in me drinking about 13-15 cans of Carling and throwing up all in my bathroom sink, the bad thing was I'd had some of those big chip shop chips a few hours earlier so my sick was just made up of beer and chips which completely clogged my sink up. I had to clean the pipes out and everything the next day, it was not pleasant at all.

During the party a friend of mine walked in the bathroom right after I'd been sick all in the sink, took one look at it and just threw up right there, luckily she got it in the toilet which is something I probably should have done.

Last time I went to stay with my friends at Uni in Southampton my hangover was so bad I was throwing up and shitting all morning, it was literally me taking a shit then standing up to be sick, just horrible.

I really don't like drinking so much it makes you sick, but it is alot of fun reminiscing about the times it does happen!

I've thrown up more than a few times from drinking

The earliest bad one was after a curry and vodka at a friends house, I must have been 16ish and my friends thought it would be funny after I said I felt ill to hit me in the stomach, I started vomiting in his living room and ran to the bathroom with it shooting out of the gaps in my hand onto EVERYTHING then finally a big explosion that engulfed his toilet room. There was sick EVERYWHERE and we spent almost all night clearing it up. His parents still found out, since it was curry coloured and some went into a radiator, which when turned on the next day did not smell pleasant. I was banned from that house until the day I broke my leg.

There was also the time my friends visited me in Cheltenham, so I took them to a local metal bar where tequila was a pound a shot. I got stupidly drunk and started throwing up whilst asleep. Not just half asleep mind, fully asleep. I woke up and realised I was indeed vomiting. My life was saved by one of said friends waking me up. I thought it was cleared up, but when I came back after the christmas holidays I moved my bad and huzzah! a big pile of dried puke down by the bed

As far as peoples' parents go, the only real time for that was the time I stayed in my friends guest room. A half asleep vomiting type deal. I happen to literally be the loudest vomiter EVER (caspio might be able to back me up here) so they woke me up, placed me on a chair and cleaned the bed whilst making sure I was sick into a bowl and not just on myself

Plenty more, but those are the three that sprung to mind.

I do tend to feel sick myself if I see or hear someone else hurling up - anyone else like that?

The worst thing is, if you feel sick and go into a toilet when someone's just had a dump... instant sickness.