I often have dreams I'm in Hitman. I murdered my entire extended family the other night by injecting poison from a syringe into loads of bowls of soup, and then just sat and the dinner table and watched them all die...

The wife just sat bolt upright in bed and asked me "How many do you want? I've got a couple but they're over there. How many do you want"?
I shrugged my shoulders and looked suitably puzzled so she said "Fine. There's a few running around over there. You can have them".

I have absolutely no idea what she's dreaming about.

Darkweasel wrote:The wife just sat bolt upright in bed and asked me "How many do you want? I've got a couple but they're over there. How many do you want"?
I shrugged my shoulders and looked suitably puzzled so she said "Fine. There's a few running around over there. You can have them".

I have absolutely no idea what she's dreaming about.

Maybe its something to do with having kids?

Bangover wrote:

Darkweasel wrote:The wife just sat bolt upright in bed and asked me "How many do you want? I've got a couple but they're over there. How many do you want"?
I shrugged my shoulders and looked suitably puzzled so she said "Fine. There's a few running around over there. You can have them".

I have absolutely no idea what she's dreaming about.

Maybe its something to do with having kids?

It did cross my mind. She does have an obsession with children. We've got one and she won't stop going on about having a second, plus she works in a nursery.

when i was like 11 i shared a room with my brother an i once sleptwalked and took a piss on him while he was asleep. when i woke up in the morning and noticed his bed covers had been washed and where drying on the banister, i decided to take the piss out of him for pissing the bed. haha, then he told me what actually happend!

I woke up last week and thought that someone had their hand over my face and started screaming.

Damn booze!

Oh christ, she's off again!

"who are you"? "What's going on"? "Why"? "Oh shut up"
She's a bloody nutcase, my wife!

Once my friend was sleep talking, but the only thing i rememebr him saying vividly was "you have nice breadsticks"
amusing!

Darkweasel wrote:Oh christ, she's off again!

"who are you"? "What's going on"? "Why"? "Oh shut up"
She's a bloody nutcase, my wife!

Is your wife a malfunctioning robot?

Bangover wrote:

Darkweasel wrote:Oh christ, she's off again!

"who are you"? "What's going on"? "Why"? "Oh shut up"
She's a bloody nutcase, my wife!

Is your wife a malfunctioning robot?

At times I wonder.

i woke up sleep laughing the other day

amok wrote:i woke up sleep laughing the other day

Thinking about that time you jumped at me and flew over the top of me again?

Metal Iain wrote:

amok wrote:i woke up sleep laughing the other day

Thinking about that time you jumped at me and flew over the top of me again?

aye, the oo's and aah's and people whatched you duck, and me fly right over the top of you and land on my face, you bastard!!

Here we go again...

This time she suddenly jerked upright in bed and, in a very prim and proper voice, shouted "I beg your pardon! That was incredibly rude"!

My missus started waving her arms about when she was fast asleep t'other night,"NO!!! I told you not to use that one.DON'T USE THAT NEW ONE!!" Bless her,she always has no idea the next morning that she's even said anything.