Tonight's unconscious quotes have included:
"Stop it, that's silly"
"No, it tickles"
"I've lost the six"
"I'm being serious, you git. The number six has come off the little wooden till".

I had a sleep wank not long ago. It was odd.

MartinC wrote:I had a sleep wank not long ago. It was odd.

how do you know you had a wank in your sleep!

unless someone watched you do it then told you about it!

poison_was_the_cure wrote:

MartinC wrote:I had a sleep wank not long ago. It was odd.

how do you know you had a wank in your sleep!

unless someone watched you do it then told you about it!

It was probably a wet dream and it's less embarrassing to say that he meant it.

Probally because he made a mess in his bed. He just dreams about being a wanker

It was strange, I was half awake. Have you ever had one of those lucid dreams where it feels really realistic? It felt like that and then I sort of woke up with my cock in my hand.

That's mad.

It was preceeded by a very realistic dream in which I was shagging some really fit huge breasted bird from my old school. After the sleep-wank happened I fell asleep immediately after and had a similar realistic sex dream in which I bought this girl off the internet and shagged her constantly.

Did you go to bed hammered?

I hate that because I ALWAYS dream about that night's drinking so pretty much every morning after a night out I have to ask my flat mates if I did anything I should be ashamed of, e.g. trying to cockslap someone to put them off their shot at pool.

Nah, I hadn't been drinking or anything. I think what happened was that my ex-ex-girlfriend sent me a message, and whenever I think of her I immediately associate her with shagging all the time.

Metal Iain wrote: e.g. trying to cockslap someone to put them off their shot at pool.

Ha, brillaint. Did it work?

Lev - Pulverizer wrote:

Metal Iain wrote: e.g. trying to cockslap someone to put them off their shot at pool.

Ha, brillaint. Did it work?

Nah, I didn't do it but I had a dream that I did do it. If I really wanted to irritate someone I'd steal their phone, put it between my butt cheeks then drop it in their pint. Sadly people haven't found that one as funny as I thought they would.

Phones are everyones precious nowadays. Maybe with something else?

Nah, it has to be with something that people take with them to the pub and leave lying around on tables. Putting a lassie's purse down your boxers is a wee bit harsh too though I have done it.