A mate showed me this the other day.
I read one about a bird on a beach whose tampon string was hanging out of her bikini. Her boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging off her clothes and "publicly removed her tampon".
Hahahaaa
Japes or something.
Fuck My Life
Moderators: James, Craig, Resilience Records
49 posts
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Re: Fuck My Life
by GoreBastard on Sun Apr 05, 2009 5:11 pm
- GoreBastard
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Re: Fuck My Life
by Creeping Dan on Sun Apr 05, 2009 5:24 pm
Haha ive ruined it for myself now because i read almost every single one.
Rub my face... up and down
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Re: Fuck My Life
by Lev on Sun Apr 05, 2009 5:25 pm
Today I was at my job as a shift manager at a fast food restaurant. Our company policy states that all employees must be clean shaven before coming to work. My boss told me that I had to inform one of the employees, Kris, that they had to shave before they could clock in. Kris is a woman. FML
James wrote:This Facebook notification says it all really:
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Re: Fuck My Life
by Lev on Sun Apr 05, 2009 8:08 pm
That website is faggot.
James wrote:This Facebook notification says it all really:
Martin James Crawford became a fan of Heretic (1 fan).
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Re: Fuck My Life
by RedBurp on Sun Apr 05, 2009 9:39 pm
Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML
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Re: Fuck My Life
by GoreBastard on Wed Apr 08, 2009 5:43 am
Best one I read was something like this:
Today I got home from school and found a sock on my bed that I used to wank off into.
It had googly eyes and a mouth drawn on to it with a note at the side saying, "since you can't find a real girlfriend, I made you're old one prettier, love mum".
Hahahahahahaaa
Today I got home from school and found a sock on my bed that I used to wank off into.
It had googly eyes and a mouth drawn on to it with a note at the side saying, "since you can't find a real girlfriend, I made you're old one prettier, love mum".
Hahahahahahaaa
- GoreBastard
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Re: Fuck My Life
by Harry on Thu Apr 09, 2009 4:16 pm
Today, I was playing with my pet hamster and I decided to put it down my pants for fun. It started running around and I actually got aroused. My mom then proceeded to walk into my room to see me with an erection and my pet hamster poke his head out of the hole in my boxers. FML
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Re: Fuck My Life
by Dian Wei on Thu Apr 09, 2009 8:23 pm
You've an amazing avatar Harry, i want a mother fucking gyro.
Gee.... I don't know about the rest of you guys, but lately the only things that truly motivate me are erections and bowel movements.
Thank the Police coming straight from the underground...
Thank the Police coming straight from the underground...
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Re: Fuck My Life
by H.O.D. Feemo on Thu Apr 09, 2009 8:42 pm
Slightly related...
I accidently went into work (prison) today with the current Hospital of death album masters on a 16gb flash drive with my mobile phone in my pocket as I was so tired I forgot to empty them (penalty - 1 year in prison / unlimited fine).
Spent the afternoon explaining what a 'hospital of death' is to head of security and got off lightly with a written warning. FML!
Sooo tired, can't even be bothered wanking.
I accidently went into work (prison) today with the current Hospital of death album masters on a 16gb flash drive with my mobile phone in my pocket as I was so tired I forgot to empty them (penalty - 1 year in prison / unlimited fine).
Spent the afternoon explaining what a 'hospital of death' is to head of security and got off lightly with a written warning. FML!
Sooo tired, can't even be bothered wanking.
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Re: Fuck My Life
by Lev on Thu Apr 09, 2009 8:43 pm
I don't get it.
James wrote:This Facebook notification says it all really:
Martin James Crawford became a fan of Heretic (1 fan).
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Re: Fuck My Life
by H.O.D. Feemo on Thu Apr 09, 2009 8:45 pm
Taking phones / Memory devices into prisons is the equivalent of taking class C drugs in. Could have got proper fucked in the bum.
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Re: Fuck My Life
by Lev on Thu Apr 09, 2009 8:47 pm
Oh. Why's that then?
James wrote:This Facebook notification says it all really:
Martin James Crawford became a fan of Heretic (1 fan).
- Lev
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49 posts
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